Okay, this is a less-than-sly way of sharing some news. (Tada!) But let's not dwell. Pregnancy is here, and now that I'm a more than few weeks out of that tricky first trimester, I had some thoughts (naturally) about this rather perplexing physical, mental, and emotional state. So here are a few things I've learned, some serious, some not, after 17 weeks of being pregnant:
You start thinking in weeks, instead of months. But that doesn't mean you can easily calculate how many weeks add up to how many months when people ask. You just know that 11 weeks means something entirely different than 15 weeks, and you watch those weeks pass by and accumulate with agony. Each one is crucial, and each 7-day landmark is a blessing.
You're always pregnant. There are no breaks, even if you're one of the only people who knows about it for a little while. You may not look like it yet, or even feel like it some days, but...you are growing something tremendous. Your organs are moving. You have to think about what you're eating. You have to make sure you're eating at all. You will need to sit down on the subway when you didn't before. You will hate that you aren't showing enough for people to understand why you aren't feeling great.
Maternity pants are amazing. Before you think you'll need to make the switch, you will realize that pants with zippers are no longer working for you. But that first pair of pants that has an elastic band that goes up to your chest? Amazing.
You don't know when to talk about it. For the first three months, this is pretty self-explanatory. You know, and your significant other knows. But then you get to the point where you can tell people, only you don't want to jinx anything. Also you've kind of gotten used to it being a secret. So fine, you start telling your family, and that's one part of it. But the superstition and privacy questions continue. Do you tell the whole world? Facebook? Twitter? Do you want to be that guy? Honestly, I still don't know how much to talk about it publicly, and here I am, now-visibly pregnant and writing a blog post, making much of this a moot point. It's still fairly confusing.
Everything is fragile. Every day is a moving target. There's nothing constant anymore about your body, or the new body being formed. Some days feel incredibly scary, and you begin to understand that you'll probably be living with a certain amount of nervousness and uncertainty for the next however-many weeks...and well past that. While generally true in life, you feel it now more than ever: anything can happen at any time, and you have very little control over it.
Now let's see how this "golden period" of trimester number two goes.